Sunday, May 30, 2010

The nature of sickness

I sat on a centuries old root outside of the house in Sant Joan Mallorca, while my mentor Thomas Hertlein carved another root to make it into a piece of furniture for his house.

He is known as the human decoder – someone who has the ability to understand expressions of life and decode them. Some of the expressions he is able to decode are diseases – like my melanoma. We had been working on it for months by then. I had gone into big processes with myself. Some of the worlds we had opened I got lost in. I kept wanting someone to take over. I kept wanting someone to tell me what is right and what is wrong. It was so hard for me to stand for something I felt. I didn’t know what I really felt – what I really wanted.

- Look, he said, and pointed to a colony of worms that appeared inside the tree trunk. I see myself as the intruder that comes and destroys their world. They are not doing anything wrong – but as I change the so-called momentary destiny of this tree trunk they are not needed here anymore. I don’t want worms inside my house.

- This is just like cancer or any other sickness of the body – it’s not doing anything wrong inside the body, just following the momentary destiny. Imagine you stop using the capacity of your lungs and the body says: okay we don’t need that as it is anymore. So it is like this tree trunk allowed to start decomposing itself.

I listened to him and pieces started to come together about skin cancer. What I called healing was changing the momentary destiny of the body. Or something like changing the momentum of the body.

Emmi Lahti

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